An aphorism is an original thought, spoken or written in a laconic and memorable form. At 5 years old, our grandson has come up with more aphorisms than anybody I know. Here are some examples:
September 20, 2013:
Josh informed me tonight that he wants to be an actor when he grows up. I think that fits him well!
Josh: mom, do you know what state they play a lot if tennis in?
Me: No, which state?
Josh: Tennessee!!
August 15, 2012, Christi:
Josh’s thought of the day.
Josh: When didn’t I exist? When I was a baby?
Me: Before you were born
Josh: Where did I exist before I was born?
Josh: I think I existed in your heart, mom
July 31, 2012: Christi: Me: “Josh, I really want to get inside your head sometimes, so I can see how you think.”
Josh: “Why? There’s scary stuff in there – like trains and stuff.”
June 20, 2012: Christi …So, I was showing Josh a mask that is used for CPR and explaining it to him when he says, “oh it’s like the old people masks. Soon you’re going to be old mom and need one of those.”. Gee, thanks, kid!
April 16, 2012 Josh got up on the chair and said,”I’m a dead end!”
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March 31, 2012: Josh showed me (Terry) all the car part sculptures. We walked to Daylight Donuts and almost home! I told Josh you can run faster than your old man. He said “you’re not my old man, Grandpa is!”
March 28, 2012: He locked his door…again. Terry opened it with the screwdriver on his Swiss Army knife, and told the shocked little boy that he had a master key.
“No, my key (his toy plastic one) is the master key because I’m the master of the house…”
March 13, 2012: Just before arriving at Jackie’s house
Josh: Did you say macaroni?
Me: yes
Josh: Apartment here I come!
March 12, 2012:While on vacation in Arizona “Daddy: “josh can I have some of your pizza?”
Josh: “sure, because if you’re family your spit tastes the same.”
March 4, 2012: Terry and Josh saw a couple riding a tandem bicycle on their way home from church this morning. “That is a limo bike!” he said.
December 2, 2011: Christi posted on Facebook:Emily’s student teacher’s name is Ms. Bauchmiller (pronounced Bawk-miller). Katy said that she came into her class today to help teach. Josh asked, “Did she teach about chickens? Bawk-bawk!” It took us a few minutes to get the joke.
September 13: Terry posted on Facebook: HA! I showed Josh a photo of Johann, and he said, ” OOO, Johann! He’s going to teach me Germany talk!!”
September 11: Christi posts: Josh and Em got in a fight this morning. We talked with Josh about needing to share toys. Here’s the conversation that followed: Josh: “Fine, then I’m not going to live here anymore!” Me: “Where are you going to live?” Josh: “Outside. In the backyard.” Me: “What about when it rains?” Josh: “Then I’ll live in the rain.” Me: “What about all the spiders and roaches out there?” Josh after some thought: “I’m going to live in California…with grammy.”
August 9: After giving him a bath, I noticed that he was blowing air on his shoulders as if he was blowing up a balloon. “Why are you doing that?” I asked. “To make my muscles big”
August 7: Josh walked into Terry’s room this morning and said, “Dad, we need to talk. If Em and I need help playing, you need to help us, and if you need help sleeping, we will help you.”
August 4: As we were walking home today, Josh told Christi, “Mom, you need to consider all your options.” I wonder what options he’s talking about?
July 25: Josh told Christi last night that I am strong, and he is glad I would get a car off him if one fell on him, and glad that I would put him back together again. But, if I put him back together with glue, he would be sad, because glue doesn’t stick to him. Apparently, tape is the method of choice to put my little boy back together again if a car breaks him!
July 3: Josh’s comment to Christi as they left this morning: “The sun is dripping on me.” Yep, it’s that hot out!
February 9: Josh and I went shopping yesterday; in the mall he tugged at my arm and whispered “I have to go to the bathroom.” As we walked past the stores I started looking in them, and he looked up at me very seriously, cleared his throat, and said “Excuse me, remember that I said that I have to go to the bathroom.”
January 27: This afternoon Josh, Emily and I were walking from Terry and Christi’s house to the pickup. As we approached it, Josh stopped, looked at the truck, put his arms on his hips, looked me in the eye and said in a deep voice, “You have a fine pickup truck” and then added “the back seats are just perfect for me.”
April 8, 2013 My dad, Terry, and Josh came to visit me at work yesterday. As they were walking out, Josh asks, “is this where the mommies and daddies come to lay their eggs?” ( for those of you that don’t know, I work on the postpartum unit at the hospital, where women stay after they have their babies.