You know that you are a South African when…

“YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:

  • You call a bathing suit a ‘swimming costume’.
  • You call a traffic light a ‘robot’.
  • You call an elevator a ‘lift’
  • You call a hood a ‘bonnet’
  • You call a trunk a ‘boot’

You call a pickup truck a ‘bakkie’
  • You call a Barbeque a ‘Braai’
  • The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
  • The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just finished watching.
  • You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
  • You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you’ve never had any.
  • 

You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
  • You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
  • You go to braais regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously.
  • You know that there’s nothing to do in the Orange Free State .
  • You produce a R100 note instead of your driver’s licence when stopped by a traffic officer.
  • You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
  • You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.
  • When you are a victim of crime and say: ‘At least I’m still alive’.
  • You know a taxi can move twice it’s certified number of people in one trip.
  • You travel 100’s of kilometres to see snow.
  • You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee
  • 

To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.
  • More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
  • People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given, Patience, Portion, Coronation.
  • ‘Now now’ or ‘just now’ can mean anything from a minute to a month.
  • You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
  • Travelling at 120 km/h you’re the slowest vehicle on the highway/freeway.
  • You’re genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.
  • A bullet train is being introduced, but we can’t fix potholes.
  • The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
  • You paint your car’s registration on the roof.
  • You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital.
  • You have to prove that you don’t need a loan to get one.
  • Prisoners go on strike.
  • You don’t stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
  • You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
  • Ruwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.
  • You consider a high crime rate as normal